Minister’s Letter — December 2005

One of my old favorite writers, Sam Keen, once said: The more you become a connoisseur of gratitude, the less you are a victim of resentment and despair. Gratitude will act as an elixir that will gradually dissolve your need to possess. It will transform you into a generous being. The sense of gratitude produces true spiritual alchemy, makes us magnanimous and large souled.

I like that phrase: “a connoisseur of gratitude.” I consider Thanksgiving, which we have just celebrated, as the symbolic beginning of the December holidays—a season of gratitude and giving.

Yet, for many, this period of time can turn into an emotional roller coaster ride. High expectations, mixed cultural messages, memories of past Christmases, both good and bad, financial worries, and family conflicts can turn the holiday season into something that must be merely endured rather than fully enjoyed. More and more people tell me that they have a good mind to place a personal moratorium on the December holidays.

As a community of faith, we need to be especially alert during the holiday season for those who are sad or lonely. Sometimes a friendly smile or kind word of encouragement will suffice; at other times, more decisive action is required.

So if you find yourself having a tough time, call me or let a good friend at the Fellowship know. Or if you see someone else in trouble, please let me know or contact Roz Baker, chair of “Sharing and Caring” committee. If we each do our part, we can together make our Fellowship a place where the blessings of the holidays come to each of us.

So the question is, not whether to celebrate but rather how to celebrate. And I believe that Sam Keen’s phrase—“a connoisseur of gratitude” is the key. Rather than expecting the holidays to “give us” something, we might begin with the premise that we can expect to get from the December holidays only what we are willing to give to them.

Do we ignore the shadows of war, terrorism, poverty and strife that darken this season? Of course not. If anything, we turn up the lights. This is the season of peace, so we work harder for peace. It is the season of giving, so we give whatever we can afford and then for good measure, a little more. It is the season of love. And so we love to a fare-thee-well. This is the season we can cherish what we have, love all we are given to love and return thanks for the gift—undeserved, too often unacknowledged—the gift of life itself. Be a connoisseur of gratitude. We started at Thanksgiving. Let it be the December leitmotif for all the holiday celebrations—for Hanukah and Kwanzaa and winter solstice and Christmas and New Year’s itself.

As Sam Keen writes: Make a ritual of pausing frequently to appreciate and be thankful. Bless the food that nourishes you. Bless whoever loves you in any way. Bless your gifts and talents. Bless old friends, little children, ancient parents. Bless the musicians who cause your body and spirit to move in rhythm. Bless sleep and waking. Notice the more you become a connoisseur of gratitude, the less you are the victim of resentment and despair. See you at the Fellowship.

Jim Covington