THE NEED TO BE PRESENT
Given by James Covington on November 30th, 2008
Eckhart Tolle writes in his latest book, A New Earth: Awakening is a shift in consciousness in which thinking and awareness separate. Awareness is conscious connection with universal intelligence. Another word for it is Presence: consciousness without thought…
I read those words and I wonder what they mean? They seem to contradict Descartes’ acclaimed statement: Cogito ergo sum: I think, therefore I am. Is “thinking” the same as “being?” While I am an admirer of Buddhism , I know little of the Buddhist philosophy compared to Paul Yue and many others of you. I am especially intrigued by the notion of “presence.” I think you can see that I have been leading up to this theme today with my last two sermons, the first one about “belonging” and the last one about “connection”. Both belonging and connection are about being present.
We’ve heard of new age gurus speak of being present, living in the now, “Be Here Now!” The “Power of Now.”
But what does all that really mean? What is the difference between being present and not being present? How can I possibly not be present if I am here?
So what is presence? How do I personally relate to this idea? Based upon my limited understanding of Buddhism, what moments do I recall of real presence in my own life?
When I was an adolescent, I often wondered who I might want to be in life. My minister at the time at our Baptist congregation was a beloved man, who often moved me with his sermons. I began to wonder if I might also be a preacher one day. This was not just an idea in my head. It was a felt sense of an inner longing. In those days, we would say it was a “calling.” Yet I was not sure. Was God calling me to preach? That’s how we would have phrased it in those days.
When I was 16, I got a job working as a counselor at a summer Baptist camp for children. Late, one evening a few of us guys were sitting around a table in the cafeteria talking about girls, sports, camping and eventually about God. I can’t recall the exact content of that conversation, but in the midst of our conversation about God, I began to have a feeling of a presence in the room. I was quite alarmed, thinking I might be going crazy. Finally, I mentioned it to my buddies, and to my surprise, all of them acknowledged they were feeling the same presence. I actually could see in my mind’s eye, a circle around us of people, of saints and angels, I suppose, lovingly encircling us. That experience continued for some time and finally, as we knelt to pray, I saw in my mind’s eye-a vision–the figure of Christ, calling me to preach. At that moment, I said, “Yes. I will preach.”
I am still not certain how to explain that experience, particularly since I have moved so radically far from its religious context at the time. Yet, it was real and it remains real. I was not hallucinating. I felt a presence. I called it God. While I am no longer insistent about calling it God, what I do know is the presence I felt was of an energy beyond myself-a presence of the universe. A presence I have experienced on other occasions, of energy, an essence, a spirit of life beyond my own self, and yet also very much within my self-being itself!
Here’s another story: When I was in my thirties, I joined 5 other men on a sailing venture in a 32 foot sailboat, down the Atlantic from Massachusetts to Bermuda. It took us about a week to arrive to our destination. But along the way, we experienced a horrific storm. The seas were swelling in 20 foot waves, the rain was torrential, the wind was fierce and we were totally helpless. We lowered the sails and just tried to keep the boat angled into the oncoming waves as best we could. I was quite certain I would die. Obviously we survived.
We made it to Bermuda and then sailed back to New York. I described it as an experience of “presence”… as I wrote in my journal at the time: The Atlantic Ocean-somewhere between Bermuda and New York. The ocean is unbelievably calm now. In the 12 days at sea, I have not witnessed how calm the ocean can actually be. It is awesome-more awesome than the storms through which we have passed. Stillness is so powerful ,in some respects more powerful than the 20 foot rolling waves! Somehow the calmness accents the magnitude of the ocean, its depth and width, even more than the storms do. This sailing venture itself has been a stream of heightened reality for me, along with the accentuation of the changes in weather, direction, pace, emotions, physical sensations. I have become acutely aware of how tumult can suddenly become calm. It has taught me patience-the art of waiting, of being present… in the moment… And now we are merely being silent, wordless… it seems, living in eternity…
Interestingly, Tolle defines eternity as the living reality of who you are…
What have I tried to share with you through these stories? In one, an experience of a presence greater than all yet present in each-call it spirit, or energy or God… or being itself… calling me to service.
In the 2nd story, I shared my experience with the beauty and power of nature, an awareness, a conscious connection with the power and presence of the creation, of eternity… now.
These are dramatic stories, but true. These are the stories that came to mind as I pondered the meaning of the subject of presence for myself. For me, they are being in the moment experiences… moments of being, of being awakened and aware.
Most of us have had days we rushed through. Looking back at the end of the day we realized we never really connected with anyone, we were barely there-just along for the ride. The day flew by-a blur of faces, appointments, traffic, brisk conversations… When days like this stack up, our life is passing us by, or rather we are passing it by.
It was John Lennon who said: Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.” But life is so short. When we let days rush by that turn into weeks and then months and years… before we know it we may find ourselves in our final moments. Wondering where our life went.
Along the way, too often we don’t really see our children, spouse or friends. We see our ideas of them. We project onto them things that are not really who they are but who we think they are. When people seem like they are letting us down it may be because they are not living up to our ideas of who they are or should be.
To really see another person requires being totally present. This mindfulness creates a space between direct experience and interpretation. It is in this space where something new and unexpected can happen. In my psychotherapy profession, being present is the work of a good therapist.
But you can practice mindfulness-or being aware of your mind-while you do the dishes or brush your teeth. It is just about paying close attention to what you are doing, and noticing your thoughts and feelings.
Yes, it is a challenge to be in the present. There is often resistance. When my wife tells me about something that is really upsetting her, my thoughts often jump to what she should do to fix the situation.
But I know how frustrating it is when I want to share my feelings with someone only to have them start problem-solving with me. I usually just want someone to listen to me. To be present. The couples who visit me in my office for counseling, have lost the way to be present with one another.
And so I ask: Who am I not really hearing or really seeing right now in my life? Am I being present with myself? My wife? My children? With you? How do I learn to listen genuinely to my own truest self and to that of others?
From my own experience, I know this much: To be ‘simply present’ either alone or with another person requires some courage. It requires a willingness to not be in control-to remain open to possibility. It means letting go of any outcome. It means listening to the silence.
“Meditation” is the name of the formal spiritual practice of being present-and it is about simply being aware. The same is true in worship. I believe that genuine worship, that which we do every Sunday and doing at this moment, should always be an experience of presence. This very moment, by listening, not just to me but to your own inner being and I to my own inner being even as I speak… is a moment of being present. Worship is where we learn to be present to ourselves, to each other, and to that which is greater than all yet present in each.
And by the way, learning to be present is not about retreating from the complexity and brokenness of the world. Quite the contrary-it’s about being able to embrace the world more fully.
Because when we pull our attention away from all the mundane distractions that normally occupy us and see injustice-are really present to it-we are motivated from a deeper, more powerful place within to work to heal our fractured world.
Being present in each moment in your life is simple. Which is not to say that it is easy. But life is so very short. Don’t miss it.
Pay attention to what matters most. Live boldly. Love fiercely.
I end with this story. When I was 33, I lost a friend I referred to as my “soul brother” to leukemia. Being with him throughout his illness, chemo-treatment, and at his bedside when he died, led me to write a poem where I try to share my experience of presence with a dear friend, dying -a moment of presence I believe we shared-a moment of being and eternity:
Twelve years now I have known you.
The thought of that fills me with memories
That seem ages past
And others that seem as only
Yesterday.
But it stuns me most to think
Of the changes in those years.
We’re nowhere man, where we
Thought we would be.
But I would not change the
Changes,
And I doubt that you would either.
What has not changed is the bond
Of our love except to become
More bonded. Something tells me that our
Friendship is the rarest of its kind:
Two men who share the deepest depths;
Who can look at the other and know;
Who can reach and touch and also feel,
And not be afraid.
What does it all mean now that death
Has its grip on you? Convulsed, my soul erupts through a
Gnashing rage into empty silence,
With only the hot tears
and the goddamn questions
And the hoping hope, that life will win.
And if not? Oh to hell with it!
There is no “if” only when.
The question is how-how we choose to live and die.
God, what beauty there is to know
I have that choice!
You’ve brought that home to me my
Friend. I thought I knew it.
You have chosen to die
As you have chosen to live.
No passive compromiser or bitter loser.
You must know that now.
I know it too, not as well as you,
but at least I’m beginning to see……
William Wordsworth wrote: I have felt a presence that disturbs me with the joy of elevated thoughts; a motion and a spirit, that impels
All thinking things, all objects of all thought,
And rolls through all things…
Henry David Thoreau ends Walden with the statement:
“Only that day dawns to which we are awake.”
May we each be wide awake and present to all the many dawns in our lifetime.